November, The Suicide Season

Suicide Season...

Samuel Foote "The Bankrupt." 1773

November 1st 2007, 6:25 AM, Something happened that changed my life forever. I nearly lost everything. I Nearly destroyed all that i have, all that i have worked for, all that others have worked for. I nearly lost my freedom, i nearly lost my life. From then on, i went through what is still, and hopefully ever will be the most horrific, frightening experience of my existence. That night, sat in a dark room, my body wretched as i cried. I was in pieces. I couldn't sleep, i couldn't eat, i couldn't move. I was clutching one of my friends that night, he was crying too. He was shouting for his mother. I remember staring out my window. I have never, in my whole life, even considered suicide. I store at my window. The feeling of actually wanting to end your own life is unreal. I remember being sick as soon as the thought occurred. I lived with this everyday. I tried to smile, but there was always this darkness. Feeding on the back of my mind. Constantly reminding. But by some miracle, i survived this. It's something i will never forget. And although i look back in shame, i don't look back in regret. I have been taught a great lesson. I will never take what i have for granted ever again.

Next to no-one knows the secret i carry.

Next to no-one probably ever will.


written by:
oliver sykes, bring me the horizon,
album "Suicide Season",2008.