Goodbye, my friend, goodbye

Goodbye, my friend, goodbye
Sergei Aleksandrovich Esenin, 1895-1925

Goodbye, my friend, goodbye
My love, you are in my heart.
It was preordained we should part
And be reunited by and by.
Goodbye: no handshake to endure.
Let's have no sadness — furrowed brow.
There's nothing new in dying now
Though living is no newer.

Notes:

Written in his own blood, and given to a friend the day before he hanged himself, or so it is assumed.

November, The Suicide Season

Suicide Season...

Samuel Foote "The Bankrupt." 1773

November 1st 2007, 6:25 AM, Something happened that changed my life forever. I nearly lost everything. I Nearly destroyed all that i have, all that i have worked for, all that others have worked for. I nearly lost my freedom, i nearly lost my life. From then on, i went through what is still, and hopefully ever will be the most horrific, frightening experience of my existence. That night, sat in a dark room, my body wretched as i cried. I was in pieces. I couldn't sleep, i couldn't eat, i couldn't move. I was clutching one of my friends that night, he was crying too. He was shouting for his mother. I remember staring out my window. I have never, in my whole life, even considered suicide. I store at my window. The feeling of actually wanting to end your own life is unreal. I remember being sick as soon as the thought occurred. I lived with this everyday. I tried to smile, but there was always this darkness. Feeding on the back of my mind. Constantly reminding. But by some miracle, i survived this. It's something i will never forget. And although i look back in shame, i don't look back in regret. I have been taught a great lesson. I will never take what i have for granted ever again.

Next to no-one knows the secret i carry.

Next to no-one probably ever will.


written by:
oliver sykes, bring me the horizon,
album "Suicide Season",2008.

Serving God is never convenient

My walk of Christianity have been more than 4 years and it's on going. I'm starting my fifth years soon. I met all sort of different thinking of Christianity which really drive me nuts as well as people that really impressed me.

I've been serving God for more than 3 years, CG has been a place for me to serve God through His people. Serving as a guitarist, game leader, leading warmth and also offering challenges. Serving in CG is the best moment for me because I'm doing something great for the Lord.

We can learn a lot of things by serving together with other members, I also heard a lot of excuses from other members telling me why they can't serve and etc.

"Serving God is from the heart, action not so important."
"God understands, just take a break."
"I'm not holy, let those holy people to serve."
"I'm not free"

More and more excuses that I heard from them trying to avoid serving.

Serving God is never convenient, if you are feeling comfortable with what you are doing, it means that it's about time for you to move on doing something greater for God. Can you imagine if God bless you only when He is free and convenient?

Which state are you in today? Pushing yourself to do something great for God or remain on your comfort zone, doing what you are good with?

~by Vernard Lim on Thursday, August 12, 2010

Time to breathe

well, life could never go easier and smoother as you grow...
the more you desire to grow, the more you gotta bear..
the busier you get, and lesser time for yourself.
Well, it tells why am i blogging after such a LONG time since the last one.
it was great for everything happened in this first half of 2010,
yet, there are dreams still remain unfulfilled.
Many people around me are seemed to experience changes in their life..
many different kind of seasons they are in,
many kinds of decision they need to make,
and many more responsibilities and burden they needa pick up.
Nevertheless, people need to grow..
people need more responsiblities to grow..
people need new experiences to grow..
and different seasons to shape us up with different situations..
All these, will do no harm, but to help us grow..
Well, it does help me to take a deep breathe,
see thru the situations with another perception,
take every single difficulties, problems, failures..
as a lesson of my life..

16th May 2010

"The future is like the day breaking on the horizon. "